


one man's fungus is another alien's pale ale

by Wintertree



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types
Genre: F/F, Non-Pathfinder Twin, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-14 21:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18060146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wintertree/pseuds/Wintertree
Summary: au where sara is SUPER gungho about that bartender/mixology quest, and it somehow works for vetra. big thanks to BardofHeartDive for the beta!!





	one man's fungus is another alien's pale ale

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aSketchBookThing](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aSketchBookThing/gifts).



> coffeeshop au adjacent?

“Hey. Vetra – catch!” Scott yells out.

Vetra turns quickly to the side, catching a gelatinous handful of purple mush in one hand. Golden World Havarl her ass.

“Pathfinder, I know where you sleep. What is this.”

“Hell if I know,” Scott says. They accidentally stumbled onto a crash site, but it was easy enough to dispatch the two Roekaar scouts guarding it. On the other side of a scrap pile, Peebee lets out a little happy yell and waves around the remains of a half decent communications relay. Scott glances back, obviously distracted. “Hey, can do you do a quick favor and do a full scan of that fungus thing? Sara wants to eat it or something. SAM, send Vetra her communications handle, and just gimme a sec to poke around.”

Vetra’s lenses flash with the address as she begins diagnostics on the flora. It’s easy enough to run, the fungi (well, closer to an algae) being a pretty basic plant for a hostile and heavily mutated planet. Inedible to her, obviously, and contains high levels of arsenic, but it should be good enough for a Krogran. The Pathfinder is still playing in his pile of junk, so she forwards the data along.

As soon as she confirms the message went through Havarl’s shitty reception, she tosses the algae to the forest floor and wipes her hand off in the dirt. A weird aroma lingers, like a sweet Earth garlic. She once spent four hours smuggled in a container of the damn stuff. Not the most pleasant mission.

Her pad pings with an incoming message.

> _SRyder_326_ : it looks so gross. PERFECT.  
>  _VNyx_ : I’m pretty sure it’s highly lethal toward humans  
>  _SRyder_326_ : only when injested!  
>  _SRyder_326_ : ingested*  
>  _VNyx_ : ...Yes. That’s how it gets you.  
>  _SRyder_326_ : ha fair.  
>  _SRyder_326_ : Real quick….who is this again?  
>  _VNyx_ : Vetra (I work with your brother)  
>  _SRyder_326_ : holy shit, i know you. Dr. Tockola talks about you all the time

Vetra’s not surprised. One of her first orders of business was to ensure the clinic had the supplies they needed, regardless of the uprising.

> _VNyx_ : Scott talks about you as well  
>  _SRyder_326_ : only good things, I hope?  
>  _VNyx_ : Sure. Let’s go with that.

She nearly rubs at her mandible, but stops her hand last minute with a grimace. Damn, that smell does _not_ dissipate. 

The bushes near camp rustle, and Vetra immediately drops that line of thought and raises her gun. The scrap pile will have to wait.

 

\- -

 

> _SRyder_326_ : 100 credits if you lick it

Vetra’s mind blanks out before she puts it together. She sits on her bunk back on the Tempest, punching the pillows until she can sit in comfort. Two sonic showers did nothing to help the stench from the algae, and the only silver lining was that Scott was in the same boat and wouldn't quit sticking his hand in Liam's face.

> _VNyx_ : no  
>  _SRyder_326_ : 150?  
>  _VNyx_ : Seriously, how scrambled is your brain? Turian’s don’t have tongues.  
>  _SRyder_326_ : you’re fucking w me  
>  _VNyx_ : technically we have one wide tooth at the base of our mouths. No saliva, no lick, no deal.  
>  _SRyder_326_ : I don’t believe you

 

\- -

  

> _SRyder_326_ : wow okay so you’re the asshole of the crew. Noted.  
>  _VNyx_ : PLEASE tell me what happened.  
>  _Ryder_326_ : nope:)  
>  _VNyx_ : Is this why I have three missed messages from Kandros?  
>  _SRyder_326_ : …  
>  _SRyder_326_ : I dislike you very very much  
>  _VNyx_ : No you don’t.

 

\- -

  

> _SRyder_326_ : No, I don’t.

 

\- -

  

> _SRyder_326_ : How come you don’t have numbers next to your communications account  
>  _VNyx_ : You can always add nicknames to your settings, if that helps. My favorite number is 13 if you want to spice up my handle.  
>  _SRyder_326_ : SUre, but i’m like _326 and you’re just vetra  
>  _VNyx_ : I’m special.  
>  _SRyder_326_ : did you have a contact adjust the main server? bribe someone?  
>  _VNyx_ : I’m not a secret Spectre! I’m special.  
>  _VNyx_ : Also I’m literally the only “Vetra Nyx” in the Initiative.  
>  _VNyx_ : You do realize there are more Ryder’s on board than just you and your brother  
>  _VNyx_ : Wait you _did_ know that, didn’t you? It’s one of the most common human surnames and first initials on board  
>  _VNyx_ : Sara?  
>  _SRyder_326_ : oh did you mean me, or one of the other 325 FUCKING SARA RYDERS on this station  
>  _VNyx_ : To be fair most of them are probably in cryo  
>  _VNyx_ : And you’re just the 326th in line when you signed up, I’m sure there’s more after you  
>  _SRyder_326_ : I hate you so much.  
>  _VNyx_ : Why, because I’m special?

 

\- -

 

Vetra stretches, trying to ignore the tightness in her joints. Leaning over a desk all day tinkering with alien technology can be cool, but it's murder on her back. No idea how Peebee does it.

Her computer station trills, alerting her to an incoming video request. Vetra nearly rejects the invite on reflex, but clicks “accept” as soon as she can see that the caller is saved in her contacts under “Unique_Snowflake **.”**

As the video pops up on screen, Vetra can see Sara fill up her screen. She looks… different than Vetra expected. It might be the harsh lighting, but she’s more washed out that Scott. And her hair’s cropped short along her skull. Dr. Carlyle did good work, you can barely see any scars. But exhaustion is visible on every line of her body.

Sara gives a little wave on screen. “How’s the audio, can you hear me?

Vetra clears her throat. “Loud and clear. Quick question, how did you change your name in _my_ user settings?”

“Bored. Harry has me on bed rest again.”

Not a real answer, but Vetra schools her face blank and lets herself get distracted. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Sara says. “I pushed too hard at physio, and now no one wants to spar with me and be the one to kill the Pathfinder’s sister.”

“Still, impressive work.” No joke. Vetra’s a little pissed that someone was able to barge through her encryption.

"Eh." She shrugs. "A little pink birdie helped."

Sid. Damnit.

Vetra's silent for too long and something shutters on Sara's face. "Sorry, I, it seemed funny when I was asking your sister for help." Sara hangs her head down on the screen. “This is– wow. Yeah. We just actually haven’t met yet and I'm turning your flesh and blood into an accomplice."

"Not the stupidest choice she's made, at least in the last 48 hours."

Sara breaks into a self-conscious smile. "And also, sorry, dick move sending you a video chat without warning.”

“You _did_ catch me mid-bath.”

Sara laughs, which is good. Isn't it? She's got a nice one. "My mom used to do that. She always somehow knew exactly when Scott and I were hungover, kept calling until we picked up, and then scolded us for not getting enough sleep." Sara leans closer to her screen. "You don't look how I imagined."

"You too." Vetra clears her throat. “So, why the weird plants?”

“Helping out my buddy Dutch with a project. Classified mission, pretty heavy stuff.”

“Drugs?”

“Fancy cocktails. Nothing says, ‘Holy shit we might die stranded millions of miles away from home in a hostile galaxy overrun by evil aliens’ like a nice mimosa at brunch.’ Personally, I’m more of a coffee girl, but stock is limited on the station.”

Vetra hums. “In that case, feel free to send over any navpoints you’ve got.”

Sara smiles and– oh. It’s a wide, toothy grin. It's different from the smug or self-effacing ones from early. Vetra feels warm just looking at it.

“Thank you,” Sara says, earnestness nearly dripping from her voice.

Vetra mumbles something witty, theoretically, and then pretends she has an excuse and shuts down the video feed.

Well. That was smooth.

Vetra leaves the room to go to her bunk.

A couple seconds later, she walks back to her monitor to shoot off another message to Sara. 

> _VNyx_ : Also Sid told me they have poetry open mics in the Vortex now.  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : oh sweet vetra, you have _no_ idea. Why do you think we need drinks so bad?? 

 

\- - 

 

> _Unique_Snowflake_ : you awake?  
>  _VNyx_13_ : Sound asleep.  
>  _VNyx_13:_ Also, love the new handle. Really makes me feel humble.  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : oh im in your dreams? Wearing anything slinky? ;)

Vetra puffs out a quiet laugh. She does a quick search on the intranet, pulling up a picture Drack took on their last expedition. Closest equivalent is like an klixen, but extremely bloated with copious amounts of skin folds.

> _VNyx_13_ : See attached.  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : sexy

Vetra began to type a response, but her pad pinged with a series of new messages.

> _Unique_Snowflake_ : can you do me a favor?  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : can you check on scott?  
>  _VNyx_13_ : Of course, is everything alright?  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : Everything’s fine, I just yelled at him to go to sleep and doubt he actually did. he’s not responding to my messages anymore and SAM’s not snitching  
>  _VNyx_13_ : Sure, I’ll do a quick check.  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : Thank you

Vetra quietly creeps from her bunk to the cargo hold. Sure enough, she can hear clanging coming from the hold. When she gets there, Scott’s in his hoodie and playing around with their armored vehicle. It’s late on the ship, well into the blue shift. Scott scowls at her when she tells him as such.

“I don’t think I like you colluding with my sister. The pair of you are as thick as thieves.”

“Your sister? Sasha, or was her name Sophie?”

Scott wryly shakes a wrench at her. “Ha ha. That’s why I keep you around Vetra, your sharp wit.”

“Hey it’s late. And at least I can honestly say I never met the woman.”

“Lucky.”

“Don’t be a brat, Pathfinder.” Vetra pushes some papers to the floor and sits on an empty crate. She also tries not to think about how _she_ was up when Sara messaged. “She’s worried about you. Get some sleep.”

“Yeah yeah, I will when I finish up tuning the engine.”

“And that can’t wait?”

Scott sighs. “We seem to be approaching the endgame, Vetra. I’m not sure how many missions this boat has left, but we’re not dropping out of the race just because I left a screw loose. It's the little stuff that takes out the biggest threats.” Vetra can't help but remember that the first Pathfinder went down from a cracked helmet.

She stands up with a clap. “Smart, using sleep deprivation as a weapon against the kett. It’s nice having a tactician as boss.”

He snorts, but puts down the wrench. “I never thanked you for helping out my sister with her project. I’ve got SAM keeping me company, but I know Sara. She’s not good at being benched, and she needs someone in her corner.”

Scott claps her on the back, and leaves. For some reason the conversation rings in her head until her alarm goes off.

 

\- -

 

> _VSexy_ : Tell me a secret.

Vetra’s not sure why she sent that to Sara. They’ve been video chatting with semi-regularity, but with kett ramping up their attacks, it’s actually been a moment since they spoke. The last message in the chain was dated at least 36 hours ago. Is that even a long period of time? It makes her feel itchy, emotionally itchy, in her chestplate to think about their communications fading away to nothing. Sara's new handle for her is too confusing, too. She can obviously tell it's a joke, but she can't tell if it's a flirt wrapped up in a joke.

Plus, it’s damn cold driving around Voeld, and it’s either get distracted or get comfortable thinking every minute about losing a toe to the snow. 

> _Unique_Snowflake_ : wouldn’t be much of a secret, now would it  
>  _VSexy_ : I can off-duty as an information broker, make you a quick buck if it’s anything juicy  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : ...well i’ve got ONE thing

Vetra nearly throws her pad to the floor when Sara sends her another message. She leans forward to where Scott's driving the vehicle through the blizzard.

“Scott, do you actually have webbed toes?” She rereads Sara’s message one last time, but that is _definitely_ what is says.

Jaal laughs and slaps the back of Scott’s chair. “Oh, I knew of this. But I don’t think I’ve yet to see a human foot. Ryder, remove your boots.”

“Guys, we’re literally in a frozen tundra,” Scott says through gritted teeth. Classic little sibling dynamic, except since they’re both twins, they’re both behaving like the baby of the family.

Vetra hums. “And they’re more suited for aquatic environments?”

Scott drives over a crevasse, which Vetra reads as a choice out of spite.

 

\- - 

 

> _VSexy_ : Never thanked you for the tip - we were able to retrieve a significant amount of fuel from the dropsite. We wouldn't have caught the smugglers without you.  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : what can i say, people say way too much shit to the bartender. and whoever's eavesdropping in the corner  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : hey  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : I never thanked you either  
>  _VSexy_ : For what? My amazing personality.  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : Yes, actually  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : You make me feel less lonely, even when we aren't talking.

Vetra can feel her adrenal system kick into overdrive. She looks around the mess, but no one's paying attention to her on her comm pad. She types out a message back, but hesitates and deletes it.

> _Unique_Snowflake_ : sorry, that sounded way less weird and way more soulful in my head

Shit, she could probably see her struggling with a response. Trying not to panic, Vetra hits send without rereading her message.

> _VSexy_ : No, I get it. I feel the same way too.  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : I'm gonna go  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : oh  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : thanks  
>  _VSexy_ : If you need to go, we're just sitting around waiting for supplies from Aya  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : no it's ok  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : I wish I could do something for you. you're always helping me  
>  _VSexy_ : Says my helpful new CI. Maybe you could pick a better handle for me?  
>  _Unique_Snowflake_ : fine, but i get a new one too

Vetra breathes a sigh of release. She's not stupid. She knows where this is going, but. Not the time to make things complicated. Sara has more than enough on her plate to deal with, and she doesn't need Vetra's baggage on top of that. Best to just diffuse it now.

 

\- -

 

"So, since when do you care about _Coffea arabica_ seeds?" Sid asks. Or more accurately, leers from the other side of a video chat on Vetra's monitor.

"I– what?" It's not so much the non-sequitur as the way her sister asks that raises her hackles. "Where'd that come from?"

"Well, you've apparently been scanning and sending local flora data to the greenhouse, which makes sense as a part of the Pathfinder's team. But what I don't get is why you're trying to pull seeds out of deep storage."

"Cora's getting me into gardening and setting aside a small pot in the ship."

Sid smugly folds her arms and leans back. "And you picked that?"

"The berries are pretty."

"They can be pretty tasty too, if you're a certain human and know how to brew them."

Vetra pushes down a spike of embarrassment and points a finger at her sister. "Lot's of human's drink coffee. Maybe I'm being a nice shipmate, ever thought of that?" She expects Sid to say something predictably smarmy and annoying, but instead she just sighs and shakes her head.

"What are you  _doing_?" Vetra starts to open her mouth to reply, but Sid cuts her off. "Do you know how much she talks my ear off? Every other day Sara hobbles over from medbay just to ask me about your favorite color, what you were like as a kid, what vids you watch, what's your eye color, blah blah blah. I'm exhausted, V. And don't think I haven't noticed that it's been forever since you've been back."

"I... didn't know."

"Yes, you did." Fine, yes, Vetra knew. "I would never have encouraged her to keep messaging you if you were going to act like this. Listen, either put the poor girl out of her misery, or jump in. Wasn't that the point of Andromeda? Fresh start? Don't make her stuck, too."

Sid shakes her head and turns off the comms.

Frustrated, Vetra steps away from her desk and starts reorganizing every container in her office. When the Tempest docks, she nearly jumps out the airlock.

 

\- -  

 

> _Special_ : This weird fern thing what you’re after?

Vetra shoots over the scan without waiting for Sara’s response.

> _SaraPrime_ : YES!!  
>  _SaraPrime_ : Dutch says they make the _perfect_ imitation mojitos.  
>  _Special_ : If I wouldn’t get violently ill and die, I’d ask you to make me one, one day.  
>  _SaraPrime_ : you say the sweetest things

On impulse, Vetra widens the scope on her glasses and took a nice photo of the landscape. Boy, she needs this. There's something about wide, open spaced that put everything back in perspective. They make her feel small. Exposed.

Reception isn't too bad in the valley, but sending a file to Sara would be a major pain. They’re scheduled to dock back at the Nexus next week for supplies (above and under the table), and her contacts wouldn’t mind waiting a few days, but–

But she wants to see Sara, in the flesh. And maybe. Maybe Sid was right, she's been avoiding the Nexus, avoiding her. It's been so fucking nice having a– a what? Confidante? Friend? More? She respects Scotts, feels grateful for his help with Sid in a way he can’t ever seem to understand, but it’s different with Sara. She just wants her jokes, her time, her attention. She just wants her. It feels selfish, trying to monopolize Sara. She's brilliant, charming. In another world, Sara would be the one with SAM, exploring the galaxy with her.

Vetra doesn't  _do_ selfish. But. Maybe she wants to. Just this once.

She changes her lenses back to tactical mode. Maybe she'll send the photo to Sara later. For now, she just sends her a message. 

> _Special:_ I want you to show me the Vortex when we dock on the Nexus, should be sometime soon.   
>  _SaraPrime_ : yeah, of course!  
>  _Special_ : I've also just found something cool on Kadara.  
>  _Special_ : Maybe when this bullshit with the kett is over, I could take you.  
>  _SaraPrime_ : you gonna mug me? hear that’s a popular hobby there  
>  _Special_ : I might.  
>  _SaraPrime_ : A lady of mystery. I like it.  
>  _Special_ : I like you, too.  
>  _SaraPrime_ : i didn’t say that! i said I like mystery, not _you_  
>  _Special_ : I like you a little less.  
>  _SaraPrime_ : fair.

 

\- -

 

> _SaraPrime_ : and yes, I’d really really love to.  
>  _Special_ : And I really really can't wait.


End file.
